27 September 2009
Leipzig, Germany
Dear President Pimentel,
It has been an honor for me to serve with you and President Borcherding, two inspired and dedicated leaders. Both of you have proven many times to me that you are called of God and your confidence in me has confirmed that I also have been called to this great work. Sister Austin and I also think we have served with the best Sisters and Elders but this mission seems to be full of the best. This fact become important to me because I initially came on this mission out of love and respect for Sister Austin who so desired to be a missionary. Service out of duty is laudable but was not the motivation I needed to work with the young single adults. That came as I forgot myself and my duty and began to serve out of love. The result was that we found children here in the Germany Berlin Mission that became children to us and who taught me about faith. Perhaps I could share one such experience.
Following our arrival in Leipzig I had many opportunities to teach Institute classes when the assigned teachers were unable to come. I was always happy to do so when I had sufficient notification to prepare and in one month I had taught two consecutive Tuesdays but was hoping not to make it three. Tuesday morning came and no call to teach and I confess I was a bit relieved. Then, around noon, the call did come and again I said yes but began to feel some resentment building up inside myself. Nevertheless I began to study the manual and also began to pray that I could set aside my resentment and do a good job. As I did so a voice came into my mind clear with the words, “Elder Austin, I have arranged this for you today, it is not accident that you will teach this class and it is not for the young single adults that you will teach it. It is for you.” My inner response was, “Why Father, you know that I know the subject well and have taught it many times and have heard numerous talks about it during my life in the Church.” So, what was the topic I was to teach? Faith! By now I was in tears. Again I heard clearly in mind and heart the words, “Elder Austin, there is something you yet lack in regard to faith. Prepare and you will know when you have learned it.”
So again I began to review and read the scriptures, especially those in Matthew and some in the writing of Paul about the gifts of the Spirit. It became so clear to me that I had not understood for all these years that faith is a gift and the requirement to have and develop it is humility. I needed to ask Father for it and open my heart to receive it so I could plant the seed. I realized that I was like the father with the possessed son who said to the Savior, “I believe, help my unbelief.”
So, I lead the discussion about faith that night and I think I did ok, even though I was still a bit emotional. After the class was over no one came to me to thank me or tell me I did well which had always occurred on previous occasions. The thought occurred to me again that if they had my pride may have overcome my humility and again I would have assumed it was my ability that mattered rather than the guidance of the Holy Ghost so silently I again thanked my Heavenly Father for his hand in my life.
These are the types of experiences Sister Austin and I had at various times. They strengthened our testimonies and gave us the desire to serve with love. They helped us to accompany the Elders and Sisters on may teaching assignments and be gladly be with the Young Single Adults in Chemnitz and Leipzig. I can testify that me Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ, love and know each of us personally and are willing to guide us when we are ready to listen and obey.
Elder Austin
Friday, November 20, 2009
Sister Austin's final letter to the President
Dear President Pimintal,
This is the finalise letter. 'We are returning to the United States and leaving beloved Germany and our CES Mission experience. This is a bitter Sweet experience as we pack our bags with hearts that are full.
We came a year and half ago not knowing what to expect but we leave with many fond memories and many spiritual experiences.
I have reflected often on two occurrences which happened before our mission. One was a dream I had before we received our call. In that dream I was bearing my testimony in German. I remember waking up from that dream and thinking but I do not speak German. The other experience was when we were set apart as Missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In that blessing the Stake President blessed me with the gift of tongues. I remember feeling at the time that if I would everyday spend time studying German and reading in the book of Mormon, that the I would be able to speak. Well I have done my best to study and to read each day even if it is only a short time, and have been blessed to be able to bear my testimony all over Saxony in DGerman. My Stake President also blessed me with an instant love of the German people. I felt it the first Sunday we were hear and it has remained strong in my heart as we have served and attended our meetings, visit taught, song with the primary children and served in many capacities with the YSA.
One of the first things I was asked to do when we came was to cook. Rene the YSA that asked me told me what they expected and I remember feeling I was not sure I was up to feeding 30 to 40 people each week in the Institute and then also snacks for Family Home Evening. But I remember asking my Father in Heave to help me with the right attitude and that I might find great joy in this assignment. I can tell you that it was not long before I was looking forward to this opportunity to serve. It was an amazing experience to feel the Spirit of joy in my cooking. I also noticed the impact it was having on the YSA. They loved it. I soon found the great Principal of service in effect as we serve one another unselfishly our love for each other increases. It was one sad day when we were told we would be leaving for another city. 'The YSA President began crying and she could not stop. Bother Elder Austin and I began to cry as well. It was hard to leave. But we had another wonderful experience as we began our service in Leipzig.
We were welcomed and loved just as much in Leipzig. The members hear in Leipzig have been so gracious and so kind to us. We have been loved and treated with great respect where ever we have been.
A big highlight of our mission was going to the Berlin Tagung with over 600 YSA from German speaking Europe. We were asked to give workshops and had a delightful time in preparation and in sharing our thoughts and love of the gospel, also meeting other CES couples was another great blessing.
Another very important principle that has been etched in my heart is that the Lord blesses and works through those he calls. I have a strong testimony of this as I have watched young District Leaders and Zone leaders do their best and receive inspiration for their stewardship's. I have felt the 'Spirit as missionaries bear there testimonies to investigators. It has been a privilege to serve with the missionaries and to see there diligence in teaching and sharing the gospel.
So what are the important things I have learned on my mission:
1. Preach my gospel in such an inspired missionary tool. I felt often the spirit bear witness as I studies.
2. The missionaries have the Spirit of the Lord with them.
3. The German people in Saxony are full of wisdom and insight because of the many things they have been through to maintain and keep strong testimonies of the gospel..
4. I have a great respect for those who remained faithful before the Venda.
5. The Lord loves his missio9naaries, and he will bless them.
6. The lessons learned on a mission are life long lessons. If we continue to pattern our life with the many habits and attitudes developed on our mission, we will be blessed greatly. Obedience, Love, Study, Service. Support and praying for our companion. etc etc etc
7. I have relearned the power of unselfish service.
8. I have felt the power of sincere testimony and I know the Lord is pleased when we share a sincere and heart felt testimony. I have a renewed desire to share it often.
9. My prayers for the missionaries and the missionary work will never be the same having served a mission. I will pray with increased intensity and faith in their behalf.
10. My respect for the work of a Mission President and his wife and family has increased immensely. This is a work of love and dedication, I did not realize how much work a Mission President does. OH MY
11. I have felt the blessing of the Lord in behalf of my family as we have served.
12. And to me most importantly my appreciation and love for a husband who has served day by day, going the extra mile in his effort to shepherd those who have been entrusted to our care. I have seen his frustration with personal concerns, I have seen his willingness to serve by the bishop or other ward leaders. I have heard heartfelt prayers in behalf of the YSA and in behalf of his beloved children and grandchildren.. I have seen his love the Jesus Christ increase. We have grown more united in this opportunity to serve. This in the eternities will be of the most significance importance for us.
I come from a family where all my 7 brothers and 1 sister served full time missions and alsoi mz father and my mother. I was the only person who had not gone on a mission. I can now say I too have served a mission for my Lord and my Church. Und dss ist wuderbar!
Sister Austin
This is the finalise letter. 'We are returning to the United States and leaving beloved Germany and our CES Mission experience. This is a bitter Sweet experience as we pack our bags with hearts that are full.
We came a year and half ago not knowing what to expect but we leave with many fond memories and many spiritual experiences.
I have reflected often on two occurrences which happened before our mission. One was a dream I had before we received our call. In that dream I was bearing my testimony in German. I remember waking up from that dream and thinking but I do not speak German. The other experience was when we were set apart as Missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In that blessing the Stake President blessed me with the gift of tongues. I remember feeling at the time that if I would everyday spend time studying German and reading in the book of Mormon, that the I would be able to speak. Well I have done my best to study and to read each day even if it is only a short time, and have been blessed to be able to bear my testimony all over Saxony in DGerman. My Stake President also blessed me with an instant love of the German people. I felt it the first Sunday we were hear and it has remained strong in my heart as we have served and attended our meetings, visit taught, song with the primary children and served in many capacities with the YSA.
One of the first things I was asked to do when we came was to cook. Rene the YSA that asked me told me what they expected and I remember feeling I was not sure I was up to feeding 30 to 40 people each week in the Institute and then also snacks for Family Home Evening. But I remember asking my Father in Heave to help me with the right attitude and that I might find great joy in this assignment. I can tell you that it was not long before I was looking forward to this opportunity to serve. It was an amazing experience to feel the Spirit of joy in my cooking. I also noticed the impact it was having on the YSA. They loved it. I soon found the great Principal of service in effect as we serve one another unselfishly our love for each other increases. It was one sad day when we were told we would be leaving for another city. 'The YSA President began crying and she could not stop. Bother Elder Austin and I began to cry as well. It was hard to leave. But we had another wonderful experience as we began our service in Leipzig.
We were welcomed and loved just as much in Leipzig. The members hear in Leipzig have been so gracious and so kind to us. We have been loved and treated with great respect where ever we have been.
A big highlight of our mission was going to the Berlin Tagung with over 600 YSA from German speaking Europe. We were asked to give workshops and had a delightful time in preparation and in sharing our thoughts and love of the gospel, also meeting other CES couples was another great blessing.
Another very important principle that has been etched in my heart is that the Lord blesses and works through those he calls. I have a strong testimony of this as I have watched young District Leaders and Zone leaders do their best and receive inspiration for their stewardship's. I have felt the 'Spirit as missionaries bear there testimonies to investigators. It has been a privilege to serve with the missionaries and to see there diligence in teaching and sharing the gospel.
So what are the important things I have learned on my mission:
1. Preach my gospel in such an inspired missionary tool. I felt often the spirit bear witness as I studies.
2. The missionaries have the Spirit of the Lord with them.
3. The German people in Saxony are full of wisdom and insight because of the many things they have been through to maintain and keep strong testimonies of the gospel..
4. I have a great respect for those who remained faithful before the Venda.
5. The Lord loves his missio9naaries, and he will bless them.
6. The lessons learned on a mission are life long lessons. If we continue to pattern our life with the many habits and attitudes developed on our mission, we will be blessed greatly. Obedience, Love, Study, Service. Support and praying for our companion. etc etc etc
7. I have relearned the power of unselfish service.
8. I have felt the power of sincere testimony and I know the Lord is pleased when we share a sincere and heart felt testimony. I have a renewed desire to share it often.
9. My prayers for the missionaries and the missionary work will never be the same having served a mission. I will pray with increased intensity and faith in their behalf.
10. My respect for the work of a Mission President and his wife and family has increased immensely. This is a work of love and dedication, I did not realize how much work a Mission President does. OH MY
11. I have felt the blessing of the Lord in behalf of my family as we have served.
12. And to me most importantly my appreciation and love for a husband who has served day by day, going the extra mile in his effort to shepherd those who have been entrusted to our care. I have seen his frustration with personal concerns, I have seen his willingness to serve by the bishop or other ward leaders. I have heard heartfelt prayers in behalf of the YSA and in behalf of his beloved children and grandchildren.. I have seen his love the Jesus Christ increase. We have grown more united in this opportunity to serve. This in the eternities will be of the most significance importance for us.
I come from a family where all my 7 brothers and 1 sister served full time missions and alsoi mz father and my mother. I was the only person who had not gone on a mission. I can now say I too have served a mission for my Lord and my Church. Und dss ist wuderbar!
Sister Austin
Monday, August 3, 2009
Patriarchal Blessing
Amy and Kim,
The old guy here. Mom and I just had a great morning with an 85 year old sister who found the Church here in Leipzig just a few years ago. She prepares lunch for us every Friday and it is so good. That may explain why I have gained a few lb's, that and the fact the the pastry here is to die for. Anyway, when we meet with her this week we read to her an article about Patriarchal Blessings and she is so excited to receive hers, even at 85. Thought you might like to read the article we read to her and understand her . Love.
Elder Opa
"When Should I Get My Patriarchal Blessing?"
By Robert K Wagstaff Patriarch, Springville Utah West Stake
You will find this at LDS.org
The old guy here. Mom and I just had a great morning with an 85 year old sister who found the Church here in Leipzig just a few years ago. She prepares lunch for us every Friday and it is so good. That may explain why I have gained a few lb's, that and the fact the the pastry here is to die for. Anyway, when we meet with her this week we read to her an article about Patriarchal Blessings and she is so excited to receive hers, even at 85. Thought you might like to read the article we read to her and understand her . Love.
Elder Opa
"When Should I Get My Patriarchal Blessing?"
By Robert K Wagstaff Patriarch, Springville Utah West Stake
You will find this at LDS.org
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Prayer
Hello all,
Hope this email finds you all in good health and happy spirits. Hard to believe we've already been here 16 months and will be home in just 2 short months. It seems that the more time we spend here the more we revert to the basics of the gospel because we now understand how important the essential truths of the gospel are. That is why, as I read the current Ensign talk by Prisident Eyring, it spoke to my heart about the importance of prayer for us as missionaries but also especially for you, our children, and your children, our grandchildren. The things mom and I plead for in our prayers are that your hearts and minds will be open to the prompting of the Holy Ghost, that God may write his sacred name, through his atonement, upon your heart, so that you and your children will know you are his. Ask you take the time to read this please let me know what you think.
Elder Opa
"That He May Write upon Our Hearts"
By President Henry B. Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency
You will find this at LDS.org
Hope this email finds you all in good health and happy spirits. Hard to believe we've already been here 16 months and will be home in just 2 short months. It seems that the more time we spend here the more we revert to the basics of the gospel because we now understand how important the essential truths of the gospel are. That is why, as I read the current Ensign talk by Prisident Eyring, it spoke to my heart about the importance of prayer for us as missionaries but also especially for you, our children, and your children, our grandchildren. The things mom and I plead for in our prayers are that your hearts and minds will be open to the prompting of the Holy Ghost, that God may write his sacred name, through his atonement, upon your heart, so that you and your children will know you are his. Ask you take the time to read this please let me know what you think.
Elder Opa
"That He May Write upon Our Hearts"
By President Henry B. Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency
You will find this at LDS.org
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Opa's Scripture 6-14
A popular song from the sixties had the the lyrics: "what the world needs now, is love, sweet love". I would think that everyone has their own idea of what that means but for the Apostle Paul it meant the way in which we interact with each other, the way we would hope the Savior would act with us were we with him. Pauls writes the following:
1 Corinthian 13:
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not acharity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of aprophecy, and understand all bmysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the apoor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 aCharity bsuffereth long, and is ckind; charity denvieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself aunseemly, seeketh not her bown, is not easily cprovoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in ainiquity, but rejoiceth in the btruth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never afaileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a aglass, bdarkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth afaith, bhope, ccharity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
What I have learned here as a missionary causes me to see charity more than just as an attitude but as a gift as with most of the other attributes of Jesus Christ. A gift he gives to help me become more like Jesus so that we can better appreciate the other supreme gifts he has given us. That would be each other. Thank a loving Heavenly Father for these great gifts.
Elder Opa
1 Corinthian 13:
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not acharity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of aprophecy, and understand all bmysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the apoor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 aCharity bsuffereth long, and is ckind; charity denvieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself aunseemly, seeketh not her bown, is not easily cprovoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in ainiquity, but rejoiceth in the btruth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never afaileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a aglass, bdarkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth afaith, bhope, ccharity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
What I have learned here as a missionary causes me to see charity more than just as an attitude but as a gift as with most of the other attributes of Jesus Christ. A gift he gives to help me become more like Jesus so that we can better appreciate the other supreme gifts he has given us. That would be each other. Thank a loving Heavenly Father for these great gifts.
Elder Opa
Friday, May 29, 2009
In God's Eyes.... A good read
Here is a great article about family for the family I love.
Opa
IN GOD'S EYES
by Candace Carteen, Portland, Oregon
By the time I was ten, I was totally ashamed of my father. All
my friends called him names: Quasi-Moto, hunchback, monster,
little Frankenstein, the crooked little man with the crooked
little cane. At first it hurt when they called him those things,
but soon I found myself agreeing with them. He was ugly, and I
knew it!
My father was born with something called parastremmatic
dwarfism. The disease made him stop growing when he was about
thirteen and caused his body to twist and turn into a grotesque
shape. It wasn't too bad when he was a kid. I saw pictures of
him when he was about my age. He was a little short but quite
good-looking. Even when he met my mother and married her when he
was nineteen, he still looked pretty normal. He was still short
and walked with a slight limp, but he was able to do just about
anything. Mother said, "He even used to be a great dancer."
Soon after my birth, things started getting worse. Another
genetic disorder took over, and his left foot started turning
out, almost backward. His head and neck shifted over to the
right; his neck became rigid and he had to look over his left
shoulder a bit. His right arm curled in and up, and his index
finger almost touched his elbow. His spine warped to look
something like a big, old roller coaster and it caused his torso
to lie sideways instead of straight up and down like a normal
person. His walk became low, awkward, and deliberate.. He had to
almost drag his left foot as he used his deformed right arm to
balance his gait.
I hated to be seen with him. Everyone stared. They seemed to
pity me. I knew he must have done something really bad to have
God hate him that much. By the time I was seventeen, I was
blaming all my problems on my father. I didn't have the right
boyfriends because of him. I didn't drive the right car because
of him. I wasn't pretty enough because of him. I didn't have the
right jobs because of him. I wasn't happy because of him.
Anything that was wrong with me, or my life, was because of him.
If my father had been good-looking like Jane's father, or
successful like Paul's father, or worldly like Terry's father, I
would be perfect! I knew that for sure.
The night of my senior prom came, and Father had to place one
more nail in my coffin; he had volunteered to be one of the
chaperons at the dance.
My heart just sank when he told me. I stormed into my room,
slammed the door, threw myself on the bed, and cried. "Three
more weeks and I'll be out of here!" I screamed into my pillow.
"Three more weeks and I will have graduated and be moving away
to college." I sat up and took a deep breath.
"God, please make my father go away and leave me alone. He keeps
sticking his big nose in everything I do. Just make him
disappear, so that I can have a good time at the dance."
I got dressed, my date picked me up, and we went to the prom.
Father followed in his car behind us. When we arrived, Father
seemed to vanish into the pink chiffon drapes that hung
everywhere in the auditorium. I thanked God that He had heard my
prayer. At least now I could have some fun.
Midway through the dance, Father came out from behind the drapes
and decided to embarrass me again. He started dancing with my
girlfriends. One by one, he took their hand and led them to the
dance floor. He then clumsily moved them in circles as the band
played. Now I tried to vanish into the drapes.
After Jane had danced with him, she headed my way. Oh, no! I
thought. She's going to tell me he stomped on her foot or
something.
"Grace," she called, "you have the greatest
father."
My face fell. "What?"
She smiled at me and grabbed my shoulders. "Your father's
just
the best. He's funny, kind, and always finds the time to be
where you need him. I wish my father was more like that."
For one of the first times in my life, I couldn't talk. Her
words confused me.
"What do you mean?" I asked her.
Jane looked at me really strangely.. "What do you mean, what do
I mean? Your father's wonderful. I remember when we were kids,
and I'd sleep over at your house. He'd always come into your
room, sit down in the chair between the twin beds, and read us a
book. I'm not sure my father can even read," she sighed, and
then smiled. "Thanks for sharing him."
Then, Jane ran off to dance with her boyfriend. I stood there in
silence.
A few minutes later, Paul came to stand beside me.
"He's sure having a lot of fun."
"What? Who? Who is having a lot of fun?" I asked.
"Your father. He's having a ball."
"Yeah. I guess." I didn't know what else to say.
"You know, he's always been there," Paul said. "I
remember when
you and I were on the mixed-doubles soccer team. He tried out as
the coach, but he couldn't run up and down the field, remember?
So they picked Jackie's father instead. That didn't stop him. He
showed up for every game and did whatever needed to be done. He
was the team's biggest fan. I think he's the reason we won so
many games. Without him, it just would have been Jackie's father
running up and down the field yelling at us. Your father made it
fun. I wish my father had been able to show up to at least one
of our games. He was always too busy."
Paul's girlfriend came out of the restroom, and he went to her
side, leaving me once again speechless.
My boyfriend came back with two glasses of punch and handed me
one. "Well, what do you think of my father?" I asked out of the
blue.
Terry looked surprised. "I like him. I always have."
"Then why did you call him names when we were kids?"
"I don't know. Because he was different, and I was a dumb
kid."
"When did you stop calling him names?" I asked, trying to
search
my own memory.
Terry didn't even have to think about the answer. "The day
he
sat down with me outside by the pool and held me while I cried
about my mother and father's divorce. No one else would let me
talk about it. I was hurting inside, and he could feel it. He
cried with me that day. I thought you knew."
I looked at Terry and a tear rolled down my cheek as
long-forgotten memories started cascading into my consciousness.
When I was three, my puppy got killed by another dog, and my
father was there to hold me and teach me what happens when the
pets we love die.
When I was five, my father took me to my first day of school. I
was so scared. So was he. We cried and held each other that
first day. The next day he became teacher's helper.. When I was
eight, I just couldn't do math. Father sat down with me night
after night, and we worked on math problems until math became
easy for me. When I was ten, my father bought me a brand-new
bike. When it was stolen, because I didn't lock it up like I was
taught to do, my father gave me jobs to do around the house so I
could make enough money to purchase another one.. When I was
thirteen and my first love broke up with me, my father was there
to yell at, to blame, and to cry with. When I was fifteen and I
got to be in the honor society, my father was there to see me
get the accolade. Now, when I was seventeen, he put up with me
no matter how nasty I became or how high my hormones raged.
As I looked at my father dancing gaily with my friends, a big
toothy grin on his face, I suddenly saw him differently. The
handicaps weren't his, they were mine! I had spent a great deal
of my life hating the man who loved me. I had hated the exterior
that I saw, and I had ignored the interior that contained his
God-given heart. I suddenly felt very ashamed.
I asked Terry to take me home, too overcome with feelings to
remain.
On graduation day, at my Christian high school, my name was
called, and I stood behind the podium as the valedictorian of my
class. As I looked out over the people in the audience, my gaze
rested on my father in the front row sitting next to my mother.
He sat there, in his one and only, specially made suit, holding
my mother's hand and smiling.
Overcome with emotions, my prepared speech was to become a
landmark in my life.
"Today I stand here as an honor student, able to graduate with a
4.0 average. Yes, I was in the honor society for three years and
was elected class president for the last two years. I led our
school to championship in the debate club, and yes, I even won a
full scholarship to Kenton State University so that I can
continue to study physics and someday become a college
professor.
"What I'm here to tell you today, fellow graduates, is that
I
didn't do it alone. God was there, and I had a whole bunch of
friends, teachers, and counselors who helped. Up until three
weeks ago, I thought they were the only ones I would be thanking
this evening. If I had thanked just them, I would have been
leaving out the most important person in my life. My father."
I looked down at my father and at the look of complete shock
that covered his face.
I stepped out from behind the podium and motioned for my father
to join me onstage. He made his way slowly, awkwardly, and
deliberately. He had to drag his left foot up the stairs as he
used his deformed right arm to balance his gait. As he stood
next to me at the podium, I took his small, crippled hand in
mine and held it tight.
"Sometimes we only see the silhouette of the people around
us,"
I said. "For years I was as shallow as the silhouettes I saw.
For almost my entire life, I saw my father as someone to make
fun of, someone to blame, and someone to be ashamed of. He
wasn't perfect, like the fathers my friends had.
"Well, fellow graduates, what I found out three weeks ago is
that while I was envying my friends' fathers, my friends were
envying mine. That realization hit me hard and made me look at
who I was and what I had become. I was brought up to pray to God
and hold high principles for others and myself. What I've done
most of my life is read between the lines of the Good Book so I
could justify my hatred."
Then, I turned to look my father in the face.
"Father, I owe you a big apology. I based my love for you on
what I saw and not what I felt. I forgot to look at the one part
of you that meant the most, the big, big heart God gave you. As
I move out of high school and into life, I want you to know I
could not have had a better father. You were always there for
me, and no matter how badly I hurt you, you still showed up.
Thank you!"
I took off my mortar board and placed it on his head, moving the
tassel just so.
"You are the reason I am standing here today. You deserve this
honor, not me."
And as the audience applauded and cried with us, I felt God's
light shining down upon me as I embraced my father more warmly
than I ever had before, tears unashamedly falling down both our
faces.
For the first time, I saw my father through God's eyes, and I
felt honored to be seen with him.
From the book:
God Allows U Turns: True Stories of Hope and Healing by Allison
Bottke
Opa
IN GOD'S EYES
by Candace Carteen, Portland, Oregon
By the time I was ten, I was totally ashamed of my father. All
my friends called him names: Quasi-Moto, hunchback, monster,
little Frankenstein, the crooked little man with the crooked
little cane. At first it hurt when they called him those things,
but soon I found myself agreeing with them. He was ugly, and I
knew it!
My father was born with something called parastremmatic
dwarfism. The disease made him stop growing when he was about
thirteen and caused his body to twist and turn into a grotesque
shape. It wasn't too bad when he was a kid. I saw pictures of
him when he was about my age. He was a little short but quite
good-looking. Even when he met my mother and married her when he
was nineteen, he still looked pretty normal. He was still short
and walked with a slight limp, but he was able to do just about
anything. Mother said, "He even used to be a great dancer."
Soon after my birth, things started getting worse. Another
genetic disorder took over, and his left foot started turning
out, almost backward. His head and neck shifted over to the
right; his neck became rigid and he had to look over his left
shoulder a bit. His right arm curled in and up, and his index
finger almost touched his elbow. His spine warped to look
something like a big, old roller coaster and it caused his torso
to lie sideways instead of straight up and down like a normal
person. His walk became low, awkward, and deliberate.. He had to
almost drag his left foot as he used his deformed right arm to
balance his gait.
I hated to be seen with him. Everyone stared. They seemed to
pity me. I knew he must have done something really bad to have
God hate him that much. By the time I was seventeen, I was
blaming all my problems on my father. I didn't have the right
boyfriends because of him. I didn't drive the right car because
of him. I wasn't pretty enough because of him. I didn't have the
right jobs because of him. I wasn't happy because of him.
Anything that was wrong with me, or my life, was because of him.
If my father had been good-looking like Jane's father, or
successful like Paul's father, or worldly like Terry's father, I
would be perfect! I knew that for sure.
The night of my senior prom came, and Father had to place one
more nail in my coffin; he had volunteered to be one of the
chaperons at the dance.
My heart just sank when he told me. I stormed into my room,
slammed the door, threw myself on the bed, and cried. "Three
more weeks and I'll be out of here!" I screamed into my pillow.
"Three more weeks and I will have graduated and be moving away
to college." I sat up and took a deep breath.
"God, please make my father go away and leave me alone. He keeps
sticking his big nose in everything I do. Just make him
disappear, so that I can have a good time at the dance."
I got dressed, my date picked me up, and we went to the prom.
Father followed in his car behind us. When we arrived, Father
seemed to vanish into the pink chiffon drapes that hung
everywhere in the auditorium. I thanked God that He had heard my
prayer. At least now I could have some fun.
Midway through the dance, Father came out from behind the drapes
and decided to embarrass me again. He started dancing with my
girlfriends. One by one, he took their hand and led them to the
dance floor. He then clumsily moved them in circles as the band
played. Now I tried to vanish into the drapes.
After Jane had danced with him, she headed my way. Oh, no! I
thought. She's going to tell me he stomped on her foot or
something.
"Grace," she called, "you have the greatest
father."
My face fell. "What?"
She smiled at me and grabbed my shoulders. "Your father's
just
the best. He's funny, kind, and always finds the time to be
where you need him. I wish my father was more like that."
For one of the first times in my life, I couldn't talk. Her
words confused me.
"What do you mean?" I asked her.
Jane looked at me really strangely.. "What do you mean, what do
I mean? Your father's wonderful. I remember when we were kids,
and I'd sleep over at your house. He'd always come into your
room, sit down in the chair between the twin beds, and read us a
book. I'm not sure my father can even read," she sighed, and
then smiled. "Thanks for sharing him."
Then, Jane ran off to dance with her boyfriend. I stood there in
silence.
A few minutes later, Paul came to stand beside me.
"He's sure having a lot of fun."
"What? Who? Who is having a lot of fun?" I asked.
"Your father. He's having a ball."
"Yeah. I guess." I didn't know what else to say.
"You know, he's always been there," Paul said. "I
remember when
you and I were on the mixed-doubles soccer team. He tried out as
the coach, but he couldn't run up and down the field, remember?
So they picked Jackie's father instead. That didn't stop him. He
showed up for every game and did whatever needed to be done. He
was the team's biggest fan. I think he's the reason we won so
many games. Without him, it just would have been Jackie's father
running up and down the field yelling at us. Your father made it
fun. I wish my father had been able to show up to at least one
of our games. He was always too busy."
Paul's girlfriend came out of the restroom, and he went to her
side, leaving me once again speechless.
My boyfriend came back with two glasses of punch and handed me
one. "Well, what do you think of my father?" I asked out of the
blue.
Terry looked surprised. "I like him. I always have."
"Then why did you call him names when we were kids?"
"I don't know. Because he was different, and I was a dumb
kid."
"When did you stop calling him names?" I asked, trying to
search
my own memory.
Terry didn't even have to think about the answer. "The day
he
sat down with me outside by the pool and held me while I cried
about my mother and father's divorce. No one else would let me
talk about it. I was hurting inside, and he could feel it. He
cried with me that day. I thought you knew."
I looked at Terry and a tear rolled down my cheek as
long-forgotten memories started cascading into my consciousness.
When I was three, my puppy got killed by another dog, and my
father was there to hold me and teach me what happens when the
pets we love die.
When I was five, my father took me to my first day of school. I
was so scared. So was he. We cried and held each other that
first day. The next day he became teacher's helper.. When I was
eight, I just couldn't do math. Father sat down with me night
after night, and we worked on math problems until math became
easy for me. When I was ten, my father bought me a brand-new
bike. When it was stolen, because I didn't lock it up like I was
taught to do, my father gave me jobs to do around the house so I
could make enough money to purchase another one.. When I was
thirteen and my first love broke up with me, my father was there
to yell at, to blame, and to cry with. When I was fifteen and I
got to be in the honor society, my father was there to see me
get the accolade. Now, when I was seventeen, he put up with me
no matter how nasty I became or how high my hormones raged.
As I looked at my father dancing gaily with my friends, a big
toothy grin on his face, I suddenly saw him differently. The
handicaps weren't his, they were mine! I had spent a great deal
of my life hating the man who loved me. I had hated the exterior
that I saw, and I had ignored the interior that contained his
God-given heart. I suddenly felt very ashamed.
I asked Terry to take me home, too overcome with feelings to
remain.
On graduation day, at my Christian high school, my name was
called, and I stood behind the podium as the valedictorian of my
class. As I looked out over the people in the audience, my gaze
rested on my father in the front row sitting next to my mother.
He sat there, in his one and only, specially made suit, holding
my mother's hand and smiling.
Overcome with emotions, my prepared speech was to become a
landmark in my life.
"Today I stand here as an honor student, able to graduate with a
4.0 average. Yes, I was in the honor society for three years and
was elected class president for the last two years. I led our
school to championship in the debate club, and yes, I even won a
full scholarship to Kenton State University so that I can
continue to study physics and someday become a college
professor.
"What I'm here to tell you today, fellow graduates, is that
I
didn't do it alone. God was there, and I had a whole bunch of
friends, teachers, and counselors who helped. Up until three
weeks ago, I thought they were the only ones I would be thanking
this evening. If I had thanked just them, I would have been
leaving out the most important person in my life. My father."
I looked down at my father and at the look of complete shock
that covered his face.
I stepped out from behind the podium and motioned for my father
to join me onstage. He made his way slowly, awkwardly, and
deliberately. He had to drag his left foot up the stairs as he
used his deformed right arm to balance his gait. As he stood
next to me at the podium, I took his small, crippled hand in
mine and held it tight.
"Sometimes we only see the silhouette of the people around
us,"
I said. "For years I was as shallow as the silhouettes I saw.
For almost my entire life, I saw my father as someone to make
fun of, someone to blame, and someone to be ashamed of. He
wasn't perfect, like the fathers my friends had.
"Well, fellow graduates, what I found out three weeks ago is
that while I was envying my friends' fathers, my friends were
envying mine. That realization hit me hard and made me look at
who I was and what I had become. I was brought up to pray to God
and hold high principles for others and myself. What I've done
most of my life is read between the lines of the Good Book so I
could justify my hatred."
Then, I turned to look my father in the face.
"Father, I owe you a big apology. I based my love for you on
what I saw and not what I felt. I forgot to look at the one part
of you that meant the most, the big, big heart God gave you. As
I move out of high school and into life, I want you to know I
could not have had a better father. You were always there for
me, and no matter how badly I hurt you, you still showed up.
Thank you!"
I took off my mortar board and placed it on his head, moving the
tassel just so.
"You are the reason I am standing here today. You deserve this
honor, not me."
And as the audience applauded and cried with us, I felt God's
light shining down upon me as I embraced my father more warmly
than I ever had before, tears unashamedly falling down both our
faces.
For the first time, I saw my father through God's eyes, and I
felt honored to be seen with him.
From the book:
God Allows U Turns: True Stories of Hope and Healing by Allison
Bottke
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Pork Chops?
In a zoo in California , a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in the pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and, due to their tiny size, they died shortly after birth.
The mother tiger, after recovering from the delivery, suddenly started to decline in health although physically she was fine. The veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a depression. The doctors decided that if the tigress could surrogate another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.
After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing news was that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment. Sometimes a mother of one species will take on the care of a different species but the only orphans that could be found quickly, were a litter of weanling pigs. So the zoo keepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops?
Take a look.....you won't believe your eyes!
Now, please tell me one more time, why can't the rest of the world get along?
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